You are the weakest link. Good-Bye!

A few months ago, I was hanging out at my sister's house with her and her 7 yr old daughter and we were talking about Christmas shopping and the subject of shopping for her husband Toby came up.  Whilst my sister and I were conferring in hushed tones and code language, Isabella, the 7 year old niece/daughter, was harassing us and asking "Mom, Mom, why don't you tell me what you are getting Dad. I wouldn't tell him. I swear!" At which point, my sister and I looked over at each other and then I looked at her and said "I'm sorry, Bella, but we can't tell you." which of course prompted the "Why not?" and I had to look at her and tell her "Because you are the weak link."

The concept of a weak link was obviously completely foreign to her and she asked me what I meant and it dawned on me, that as an only child, she had never experienced a weak link rat-out.  Obviously, any misbehavior that resulted in obvious evidence had always been, and rightfully so, blamed and assigned to her.  My sister and I I, having grown up in a family with 4 children, 3 of who were only separated by 3 years, were very well-versed in the cagey wiles of parents.  If you wanted to keep a secret, you needed a completely united front, and if you wanted to find out this secret, you really needed to discover the weak link and isolate them. Once you did so, the weak link would crack, and spill the beans. And Isabella, my darling nice, in the triangle of your father, your mother, and you...you are the weakest link. Good-bye.

She fought against this designation but then realized it and understood this and she looked and me and my sister, and said "Mommy, Uncle Bernie, who was the weakest link in YOUR family?"  Without hesitation, without blinking, both of answered, "Uncle Bobby."  There wasn't a moment of hesitation. Later on, my brother Michael got home and completely unprompted, she asked him "Uncle Mikey, Mommy and Uncle Bernie say that in every family, there is a weak link. Who was the weak link in yours?" Once more, Uncle Bobby ended up being thrown under the bus so fast, it really was surprising that he doesn't sport a  Centro tattoo.

Now, anyone that grew up knowing my family, this really isn't a shock. Everyone knows that Bobby is the weak link, and this isn't a knock on Bobby, it just really shows a  lack of learning on his part and well-applied pressure on my parents' part.  When questioning a group of children, a united front being presented by them isn't that surprising when you question them as a whole. Solidarity! It's an us-against-them mentality. The smart move is taking them one on one. Once broken down and taken one on one, now it's a matter of a committing to the story and sticking with it. No matter what. Because it was one on one, there's no way of knowing what is being asked or how it is being asked, but I always knew that they were going to ask my sister first, then ask me, and then ask Bobby.  I have always been on the ilk, where once I have committed to something, I am all-in. I will stick to my story up and down, and it doesn't matter what you are telling me you have already heard.  I am sticking to my story.  Unfortunately, my brother's weakness, is he would fall for the promises of leniency. The being told, "You know, your brother and sister have already come clean, they have already confessed. By you not confessing, you are only making it harder on yourself and you will be be punished more severely."  Like the eggs shown in the mattress commercial about to have a weight dropped on it with only a thin feather layer above it, he was destined to crack.

That door would open, and the tear stained face of Bobby would come out, looking to us for some sense that he had done the right thing.  Kristen and I would see the triumphant face of the interrogating parent, and we knew that we were sunk, and that hope for camaraderie that my brother was seeking would be dashed. Harshly.  Michael, the youngest of the brood, only needed to learn this lesson once.  Only once did he rat us out.  He had the game explained to him, and never again was he the weak link.  Some people have it. It's a matter of having the faith that you were not going to be let down by anyone else on the team, and the strength to be willing to deal with the punishment that would undoubtedly be made tougher in the event the truth eventually found the light of day.

There is one in every group. Family, friends, co-workers. A chain is only as strong as the weakest link.  The question I have for you, dear reader, Is it you?